I was a big Olympics fan when I was a kid. Over the years, I've become less and less a fan, for a couple of reasons.
First, I realized I was never going to be good enough in any Olympic event to be a competitor. Once that realization hits a person, the five rings just ain't the same.
Second, once the Olympics became just another stop on the various professional tours, it ceased to be as interesting. Sorry, but playing for Olympic gold at Wimbledon a month after Wimbledon actually was held just doesn't cut it.
Still, it's kind of hard to totally dismiss the Olympics. You have to watch the opening and closing ceremonies every four years just to see each host city try to outdo the previous one in sentimentality and kitsch.
So, I've been watching some of the games - sorry, The Games - the past two weeks and here are some of my observations:
- Michael Phelps is the greatest medal winner in Olympics history. That does not make him the greatest athlete in Olympics history. Seriously folks, he's a swimmer. Before the swimming types crucify me, hear me out. Swimming is something everyone should know how to do and is a fantastic way to stay fit. But as a sport it has its limits. Phelps has so many medals because there are so many different strokes and distances. The backstroke is an official event. Can you imagine runners on a track running backward? The average lifespan of a world swimming record is what, about 14 seconds? Phelps is certainly the greatest swimmer ever and one of the all-time Olympic greats, but he's no Carl Lewis.
- Gymnastics is one of those sports that make you want to learn how to do the events (except for the one with the ribbons) but really ticks you off in terms of how it's scored. Ultimately, the athletes are in the hands of sideline judges, and there's just no fair way for human beings to objectively score something they themselves couldn't do.
- Synchronized swimming and synchronized diving hardly seem like legitimate sports, but both seem incredibly hard to do well.
- Oscar Pitorious' blades fascinate me. The South African double amputee runs on Cheetah Flex-Foot carbon fibre transtibial artificial limbs, manufactured by Össur, an Icelandic company. According to the company's website, "the design captures the running characteristics of the cheetah, the world's fastest land animal. It replicates the big cat's hind leg, whose foot extends and reaches out to paw at the ground while the large thigh muscles pull the body forward."
What amazes me about them is that they allow the runner to actually run, instead of spring forward. I wonder how much practice it takes to maintain balance on them while running, or if it just comes somewhat naturally?
- Mokgadi Caster Semenya, the South African female 800-meter runner who has been subjected to gender testing after previouos competitions, may well be a young woman, but it's easy to see why some of her competitors are dubious. Watching her run in the 800 semifinals, two things stood out - the cranial shape of her head compared to the other runners strongly suggested maleness, as did her shoulders and arms, which are huge. Many female athletes, particularly swimmers, have large shoulders, but Semenya's look completely out of place against the other runners. Not saying anything's fishy here - just saying I understand why some people would.
- Water polo is a sport that looks like it would be a blast to play, but very physically demanding. But as a television show, it doesn't cut it.
Finally, I'll do some channel surfing and catch some of the final Olympic events the next two days, particularly the marathon. But I'll still shoot back to the Phillies, even the lousy-as-they-are, 2012 Phillies, who definitely won't be winning any gold medals.